Moline High School Class Of 1961

My Mother Taught Me

 

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2.
My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of  that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught  me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and! I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me  about the science of
OSMOSIS.
"Shut  your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that  dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about
STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught  me about
WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I  brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14.  My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR  MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me  about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me
HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught  me
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my
ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me
WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me
JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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 Copyright 2002 Moline High School Class of 1961
All rights reserved.
Updated on May 22, 2004